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Disabled & Proud

The Start Middle & End

I hope you enjoy my blog still not sure why I’m doing it but hey hoπŸ˜‚

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Can we live without social media?

I used to be on social media all the time Facebook, Twitter etc happily talking and chatting and found it was slowly taking over my life and having an impact on my family who by the way still use it!

First I came off Facebook as that was the main drain of time and influence.

I hate to see injustice of any sort so used it a lot to try and have an impact regarding disability issues, I would like to think I did to some degree but you never really know. I live in a very isolated spot and can no longer drive so it kept me busy for most of the time and then I got into Twitter and started using them both! Not a good idea.

I then decided to drop Facebook and only use Twitter that seemed better and more controllable πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Like anything it just escalated, and took more and more time, however I met some great people and still keep in touch via email to a select few.

I decided I was missing out on an awful lot of what was important in my life and did a trail run of no social media after someone decided they wanted more and more of my time etc.

It was strange at first as I did miss it but then I started to enjoy my time more and more, my family, my dog and my beautiful surroundings.

I started little projects and even a bit of gardening! Lol

My house was always clean but now I actually took pride in it instead of just a chore it had meaning even with a dog thinking it was a game by hanging onto the broom while I tried to brush the floor πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

After a while I decided to try and go back on Twitter but you know I was missing so much of my life that I deactivated my account and made the best decision to leave social media alone and enjoy what I already had!

I do this blog and keep in touch with people I want to but otherwise nothing and it’s bliss.

So yes I can live without social media and love it.

The black circle of life

Sometimes for some of us life becomes too much. We seem to become almost like another person, our mood changes and we end up in what feels like a never ending circle of despair not in control of our thoughts or emotions our self worth becomes non existent and we face a daily battle with ourselves to even think about getting up in the morning. Our sleep pattern becomes a mess as our brains don’t switch off to allow sleep and so the circle continues.

My mental health is as above and yes of course I get to a point where you think ending it all, but thankfully I have not just got my immediate family but and this must sound bizarre to some but I have my dogs and they are the reason for getting up every single day. We now have two, Sandy who is my constant companion and watch dog and then we have a new addition of a 9 week old pup Oscar. Sandy is my saviour she does not judge me she knows my moods she gets me up every morning even when my mind is so dark it scares me, she is there always willing to show love and drive for the day ahead ever watch-full always protecting.

I find that when my mood is darkest and that can be any time of the day or night Sandy is the one that can change it. It may take her a while but she does just by being her.

The horrible darkness of the mind suddenly becomes a little lighter.

The sound of silenceΒ 

Among many of my conditions is one that I’ve lived with since my late teens. And that’s deafness to the point that without hearing aids I can’t hear anything but the loudest of noises. I don’t sign but am an excellent lip reader. 

This can have major benefits and downside. The benefits are I can literally turn my hearing off which gives me peace when I want it. ( drives my family mad lol ) the downside is fairly obvious but what isn’t obvious is the extra anxiety that comes with it, what if something went wrong at night when I don’t wear them!!!  When I’m out I don’t know which direction sound is coming from so have to be ultra cautious. 

The other downside is like so many others with hearing loss tinnitus becomes louder when not wearing hearing aids. However when it’s not too bad and I turn my aids off the sound of silence is truly beautiful and the deep inner peace is amazing! 

My MH is not good and currently kept in check with medication for me to cope day to day but the medicine that I get the most from is the sound of silence. 

All building work completed!

Sorry I haven’t updated this in what seems ages but I have been having a load of alterations done to enable me to be more independent at home.

We have had a wet room built downstairs and a bedroom along with French doors from my new bedroom out into the garden with a patio and paving all the way around the house, we had to raise the floor for the bathroom and all around the house to make it wheelchair friendly.

And the good news is I slept in a bed for the first time in 2 years!!!

Mind you my dog seems to think it’s her bed.

As you can see she even pinches my pillows!

So now I can live a better life in and around the house 😁

More updates as I get used to things.

House arrest!

I am virtually house bound or as I prefer to call it arrest! As I am confined to a wheelchair for most of the time I can’t get out of the house at the moment until improvements to the house have been a made in August, I find this can be depressing  at times and also makes my anxiety worse when I do get taken out for appointments etc. But as I’m under house arrest my role in life has been reversed so the housework on the ground floor becomes my responsibility along with the washing etc. I don’t cook though as my cooking skills are non existent in fact it terrifies me!

Anyway onto the housework has anyone tried to hoover in a wheelchair! It’s lethal I push the hoover it stays still and I go backwards πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so a good tip put the brake on then push. Dusting & polishing is easy enough as is mopping the floors luckily we have a steam mop which is great. But things like emptying the dishwasher takes ages and can be painful as the door drops down you nearly have to fall into it to get the bottom tray out. And as for the washing!!! My wife and daughters how do they go through so many clothes heaps of the dam things! And why can’t they ever separate their knickers from their jeans πŸ‘–πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘ I have set days for cleaning they are a Mon, Wed & Friday with skirting boards doors etc on Fridays πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ blimey I sound like an old woman!

Anyway as I’m stuck in the house all day I use twitter to vent or communicate with the outside world! I don’t use Facebook it annoys me. I keep updated on news etc via the web. I refuse to put the tv on during the day as that’s a sign I’ve given up! I might be wrongπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ we live very remotely in gorgeous countryside and my dogs alert me to anyone daft enough to come down our track. Our normal postie knows our dogs but anyone else won’t come in the gate πŸ˜‚ 

I’m hoping one day I might be well enough to drive again and won’t feel imprisoned, if and when that day comes watch out world here I come πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Who am & Why I’m here.Β 

A bit about me: I’m a 57yr old man. I used to be a successful logistics consultant traveling all over the UK. Very fit and worked hard married with children (1 boy and girl from 1st marriage) and 2 daughters with my second. The good news is I’m still married to the second 😁😁. Then comes the bad news just over 2 years ago I developed a condition called Menier’s disease along with Tumarkins which means my balance is severely effected and I have drop attacks. I am confined to a wheelchair for my own safety as I fall over all the time leaving me incapable of anything and often broken bones. I have also lost 80% of my hearing. To give you an idea of what it’s like try to imagine being in a small boat in the middle of a storm. For me I don’t know where the ground is as it moves, the room spins as if I’m drunk 😡 and you feel sick and dizzy at the same time but miss out on the fun part!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and then I also have developed COPD now at severe level. Because of this I have had to give up driving and at the moment can’t get outside unaccompanied as high steps and a wheelchair don’t mix!! Trust me I’ve tried πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ it hurts!!! This has led to severe depression and anxiety. So all good funπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. That’s ME!!! 

Why am I here blogging? I don’t really know except I thought it might be useful to someone possibly one day if not then who knows it might do me good 😊 I have a wicked sense of humour so I hope you find the future posts useful and entertaining πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ bye for now until “Further adventures of Tin Tin” Ooooops sorry got carried away πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚I hope to update at least every week or more.